Faith in the Fog

Jacob and Rachel (and Leah)

 

Most view Jacob’s relationship with Rachel as something that could have been set up in Hollywood. And therein lies the problem. In fact, many get caught up in Jacob’s ability to wait for Rachel as opposed to the fact that he didn’t seek God what-so-ever on this matter. In contrast to his father Isaac who meditated and prayed while his wife was being sought, Jacob hooked up with the first woman he saw. Let’s get into the story.

 

Genesis 29 opens with Jacob heading off to the East. He is about 450 miles from home as he rolls up to Haran and runs into folks from the area. He asks them if they know Laban who is Rebekah’s brother and someone from whom he could marry as they are inside the family. The men respond that Laban lives near and is doing well and that his daughter Rachel is on her way with some sheep. Jacob then asks the men why they don’t lift the big rock off the well so that Rachel can water her sheep and they say because they want their sheep to get some water. So Jacob ignores the town tradition rolls away the rock and waters Rachel’s sheep and then moves in for a kiss.

 

No other place in the Bible save Song of Solomon is there any talk of kissing. But here, Jacob moved solely by Rachel’s beauty and the fact that she was someone he could marry he went in for a kiss. Now culturally this had to cause a stir. Even today, you don’t hear many men walking up to a girl at a gas station, paying for her gas and then playing tonsil hockey. So think back almost 4000 years and you can guess how well that went over with the locals as they watched this thing unfold.

 

So let’s recap Jacob for a moment. He deceives his father for Esau’s blessing. Esau swears to kill Jacob and Jacob runs away to Haran on the advice of his mother. No prayer involved. God does give him a little revelation on his way out that he is with him with the whole dream of Angels ascending and descending, but we have no interpretation of what that meant or what Jacob thought it meant. He travels 450 miles and we have no record of him praying. He gets to Haran and meets Rachel, sees her beauty, breaks tradition of uncovering the water well, gives a drink to Rachel’s sheep, makes out with her and then cries. Ok seriously, this is like uncovering the original chic flick.

 

The weird thing is that he tells Rachel he is related to her after they make out. Which makes me wonder about Rachel. Is she willing to go for any guy who can move a rock off a well to water her sheep? Anyway, Jacob and Rachel immediately head home and Laban is all excited that his nephew has shown up and they all have a month long party and Jacob is treated like a guest. Eventually, there comes a time where Laban who is a shrewd business man and knows that nobody works for free asks Jacob what his pay shall be.

 

Jacob’s price is Laban’s daughter. Laban is no idiot and will milk this deal for all its worth and so he demands 7 years for Jacob to marry Rachel. Jacob is all about it. Now the thing that Jacob doesn’t realize is that he has met his match as a trickster. There is no way Laban is going to marry off the second daughter without marrying off the first. And so he conspires with Leah for the switcheroo. This of course is reminiscient of the trick that Rebekah, Laban’s sister worked out with Jacob for him to get Esau’s blessing. What goes around comes around friends.

 

Again, there is a contrast between Isaac as a young man of prayer for the most part and Jacob as a young man who depends on his own intellect and cunning to get what he desires and this time he pays for it. The morning after the wedding, Jacob realizes he has been had and he actually married Leah.

 

Jacob does not divorce Leah, but rather makes a deal for Rachel. He must work another 7 years for her.

 

Now it isn’t until Genesis 31 that Jacob communicates with God at all, in fact, God comes to him. It seems that only Rachel and Leah are praying as God heeds their prayers for children. Jacob could not be a cruddier husband. Although, when God tells him to head back to Canaan, he obeys, but what else would you do if God talked to you?

 

Observations of Jacob:

Hopeless romantic looking out only for himself and the desires of his eyes.

He did not pray for where to go when he left Canaan

He did not pray for whom he should marry

He wanted to marry Rachel based solely on her beauty

 

 

Interpretations:

Jacob walked into the trap of having two wives because he never consulted God

God worked providentially through Jacob’s prayerlessness

 

 

Application:

The process of finding a wife must be something for which men diligently seek God.

Jacob never prayed and got a housefull of infighting that would later make him say to pharaoh in Genesis 47:9, “The years of my sojourning are one hundred and thirty; few and unpleasant have been the years of my life, nor have they attained the years that my fathers lived during the days of their sojourning.”

 

Good grief. How did he go from weeping over finding Rachel to lamenting over his whole life? God used him for his purposes, but since he rarely sought God he never found joy in the journey.

 

If you don’t seek God and find a wife then the one you married is the one you should be with

Jacob in spite of being fooled did not divorce Leah. This was proper. Now of course, he ended up with essentially four wives and that does not translate to our contemporary world, but what does translate is that although Jacob was deceived he did not try to get out of that marriage. Today we have too many people who felt they were deceived not by their spouse’s father, but by their spouse in presenting them to be something they never were and divorce occurs. However, once you are married in the site of God, it is a done deal. That is why it is so important to seek God on the front end.

 

God uses sinful messed up people to fulfill his purposes.

 

Whether Jacob liked it or not, God used him. He used him to build up a people for himself. He used a dysfunctional family with men and women whose faith did not necessarily reflect anything that we would want to imitate. However, that gives me hope, because I can be pretty dysfunctional too. God doesn’t need perfect people, he uses us as he pleases and if we would seek Him, I know that we would enjoy the journey so much more. So instead of our lives being absolutely miserable, we could rejoice with what God has done with our lives which our so short in comparison to how much time we will spend with him if we have come to know His Son, Jesus as our Lord and Savior.

 

 

Isaac and Rebekah

 

We start in Genesis 24 with this one. Abraham is getting up there in years and calls in his chief of staff. He tells him plainly, “Hey pal, get my boy a wife, but don’t get him a Canaanite, but rather get him someone from our own family back in Aram Naharaim.”

 

So the Chief of Staff heads off to the Old Country with a whole truck load of gifts and treasures, because the only way you are going to get a woman to leave her own family to go off with some crazy foreigner guy is by having a lot of cash. I am not sure if that has any implications today, but clearly if a woman declares herself to be a woman of God and as a man, you have diligently sought the Lord, Mail Order Bride’s  may be an appropriate and permissible solution as long as your Dad or you have the money to pull this off.

 

The Chief of Staff loves Abraham and doesn’t want to screw this up and so he prays like crazy for him to find a wife who is willing to go back with him, because let’s be honest here, I don’t care how much money some weirdo has, a woman who doesn’t know you from Adam isn’t just going to hop on your camel and say giddy up to my husband unless she has some serious psychiatric issues or God told her to. So gets into town, starts praying.

 

Genesis 24:12-14  Then he prayed, “O LORD, God of my master Abraham, give me success today, and show kindness to my master Abraham.  ¹³ See, I am standing beside this spring, and the daughters of the townspeople are coming out to draw water.  ¹⁴ May it be that when I say to a girl, ‘Please let down your jar that I may have a drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink, and I’ll water your camels too’– let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac. By this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master.”

 

 

After this prayer Rebekah shows up with a jar to fill up on some water. The first thing that the Chief of Staff notices is that this girl is beautiful. It is kind of funny, that we normally think that we should be looking for character qualities and is this the kind of girl that didn’t have a ton of issues and would get along with Isaac and had a heart for God and all that, but no…she is hot. He then finds out that she is a virgin. I don’t know how he finds this out, but apparently it is true and it definitely takes some sort of good family and good character traits to be a virgin.

 

Anyway, here is what happens, Genesis 24:17  The servant hurried to meet her and said, “Please give me a little water from your jar.”

 

I wonder if Rebekah was freaked out by his approach. I mean you go to the watering hole everday and you pretty much know everyone there and men in general don’t talk to you because that is culturally not acceptable. So this random man runs to Rebekah and asks for water—like he couldn’t just get his own—and Rebekah’s response was

 

Genesis 24:18-21  “Drink, my lord,” she said, and quickly lowered the jar to her hands and gave him a drink.  ¹⁹ After she had given him a drink, she said, “I’ll draw water for your camels too, until they have finished drinking.”  ²⁰ So she quickly emptied her jar into the trough, ran back to the well to draw more water, and drew enough for all his camels.  ²¹ Without saying a word, the man watched her closely to learn whether or not the LORD had made his journey successful.

 

Ok now the servant goes weird on Rebekah. After asking her to get him some water, he just stares and watches her. Eerie, I know, and maybe that is why she got some water for his camels as well. Who knows why, but God answers his prayer by her acting exactly as he prayed the wife of Isaac would act and then he makes the next move.

 

Genesis 24:22  When the camels had finished drinking, the man took out a gold nose ring weighing a beka and two gold bracelets weighing ten shekels.

 

Genesis 24:25  And she added, “We have plenty of straw and fodder, as well as room for you to spend the night. Then the man bowed down and worshiped the LORD

 

 

This is the part where Rebekah is excited and she sees that being hospitable like her parents taught her will always pay off and it does.

 

The CoS then asks about her family and if he can stay with them and it turns out that she is a relative and that she knows how to take care of a man. Pretty good deal. So in less than an hour into the land of Abraham’s relatives, the CoS has a prospect and moves in for the kill.

 

Rebekah runs off to the house to her brother Laban and tells him the deal. Evidently, the father is not around anymore and Laban is the man of the house. Laban greets him and asks the CoS to come in and eat, and he does. But before he touches the food he makes his intentions clear. “I want to take your sister to my master’s son for a wife.”

 

Laban realizes this is from the Lord and says “of course.”

 

To which the response of this is

 

Genesis 24:52-53  When Abraham’s servant heard what they said, he bowed down to the ground before the LORD. 

 

So the CoS convinces the family that Rebekah needs to leave right then and there and they head back to the land of Canaan.

 

Meanwhile back at the ranch, Isaac is doing his normal thing of drawing close to God daily. He probably knew that the CoS would be out there looking for his wife, but he didn’t seem to worry about the time, he was just going about his day meditating on how great God was since he didn’t have a Bible to read.

 

Genesis 24:63  He went out to the field one evening to meditate, and as he looked up, he saw camels approaching.

 

And that is when it happened. The whole finding Rebekah issue was transparent to him. He knew that his father Abraham had the search committee out looking for his wife and so he could rest in that. His dad had never let him down before. I mean, sure his dad had strapped him up to some wood one day to kill him, but angels did stop him, so he knew that his dad had a direct line  to God for things concerning him. If God was wanting to build a line through him, he would take care of it through intervention of angels if need be. He knew that he was loved.

 

 

Interpretations:

Having people praying like their life depends on it to find a wife for you is very helpful. How many of our friends are diligently searching for our husband or wife? Of course this was the servant’s job. So perhaps those dating agencies are also biblical after all. If there is a Christian matchmaker who really gets to know you and then prays like their life depends on it to find a spouse for you that is Biblical as well. The Chief of Staff would thank God right on the spot anytime a prayer was answered. I mean that is a dedicated guy, a little weird with public prostration, but dedicated nevertheless. His heart was right.

 

Finally, notice how Isaac truly trusted his father Isaac and his Heavenly Father for a wife. This constant and regular communion with God was powerful in his finding a wife, which is why, Moses-mentions he is out praying just before the CoS brings Rebekah.

 

Biblical Applications:

A trusted Christian friend who diligently prays for your spouse and actively seeks out your spouse is Biblical—even if you pay themàthis would include matchmaking services.

 

The powerful and effective communion of God in preparation for a spouse is what God desires. God wants us to focus on Him in the midst of waiting for her (in my case…him for all you ladies).

 

Adam and Eve: there is not much of a dating relationship here, because once Eve is created, they are married. However, there are some interesting things to note.

 

NASV Genesis 2:18   Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”

NIV Genesis 2:18  The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

NET Genesis 2:18   The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a companion for him who corresponds to him.”

 

 

Now I have not done a Word Study fully on the word “Ezer” which is where we get the word helper, but it does not mean anything but helper. It is also a name for many Jewish men, but for the most part it means helper. I went and investigated why the New English Translation translates “ezer” as companion and this is what I found.

 

From the NET Bible.  Ezer is traditionally translated “helper.” The English word “helper,” because it can connote so many different ideas, does not accurately convey the connotation of the Hebrew word  (’ezer). Usage of the Hebrew term does not suggest a subordinate role, a connotation which English “helper” can have. In the Bible God is frequently described as the “helper,” the one who does for us what we cannot do for ourselves, the one who meets our needs. In this context the word seems to express the idea of an “indispensable companion.” The woman would supply what the man was lacking in the design of creation and logically it would follow that the man would supply what she was lacking, although that is not stated here. See further M. L. Rosenzweig, “A Helper Equal to Him,” Jud 139 (1986): 277-80.

 

So essentially this woman is to be a helpmate. We are not here to argue equality or roles in marriage. It is clear from the New Testament that the woman in marriage comes under the authority of the man. If I need to clarify that, I can, but this currently is not the forum. What I wanted to point out here is that Adam was alone and it wasn’t good, and Adam was actively searching for a companion through what God had put on the earth. We see this from the following verses.

 

NASV Genesis 2:19-20  Out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name.  ²⁰ The man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him.

 

NET Genesis 2:19-20  The LORD God formed out of the ground every living animal of the field and every bird of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them, and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name.  ²⁰ So the man named all the animals, the birds of the air, and the living creatures of the field, but for Adam no companion who corresponded to him was found.

 

So here Adam is out looking for a companion. He is actively searching. Now, it is odd that he is not looking among humans, but he is looking all the same. God knows that he is looking and that he has not found what he is looking for, but he allows him to look anyway. Finally when Adam has gone through every beast out there, God intervenes and brings Eve.

 

NASV Genesis 2:21-22  So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place.  ²² The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.

NET Genesis 2:21-22  So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep, and while he was asleep, he took part of the man’s side and closed up the place with flesh.  ²² Then the LORD God made a woman from the part he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

 

If you notice, there is the transitional word so or in the Hebrew this is a “waw” pronounced vav. Anyway, it is a transitional statement which hinges on the previous sentence which was that for Adam no suitable helper or companion was found. In English you can translate it Therefore or so. The NIV always translates this now, but it loses the transitional force.

I bring that point up because God and Adam are both looking for a suitable helper/companion. They can’t find one. Therefore, God puts Adam into a deep sleep, takes out a rib, and forms Eve around the rib. This could be the first and only example of DNA cloning and perhaps lends us to see that only God should do that—but we won’t go into that.

 

What Applications can we make from this?

 

God partners with man to find his mate. There is a selection process, but this does not mean that there is only one mate hand crafted by God for the man, but rather that man is not compatible with animals. So this rules out bestiality. Now one could take this as God creates a specific woman for every man, only if one day when you are walking with God in the cool of the day, he asks you to take a nap and then he rips a rib out of you. So for the love of all things Holy, please do not take this as God has only one option for you. This process just eliminated animals and since there wasn’t a woman, God made one.

 

Conclusion:

God and man partner together to find a mate. It is Biblical and righteous for a man to search for a mate. There is a dynamic of God’s approval involved in selecting a mate.

“Spread the corner of your Garment over Me”

 

With these words, Ruth proposed to Boaz in Ruth 3:9. In an era where most who hold to a complimentarian world view are vying that women must be passive in their role as a woman, I am going to come out and say that the Bible begs to differ.  The Bible offers us no prescriptive methods for dating for finding a spouse, but it does offer several descriptive ways that men and women have gotten married in the past. Over the next several blogs I will write about several of them.

 

The first will be Ruth and Boaz as I think this might offer a paradigm shift in thinking on how complimentarians view the dating process.

 2: Adam and Eve

3: Isaac and Rebekah

4: Jacob and Rachel

5: Samson and Delilah

6: David and Abigail

7: David and Michal

8: David and Bathsheba

9: Solomon and whoever his wife was in the Song of Solomon

 

I can’t think of anymore off the top of my head. If you can think of any let me know. But let’s first take a look at Ruth and Boaz.

 

Background.

 

Ruth was a Moabitess who had married Mahlon the son of Elimelech and Naomi. Elimelech, Mahlon, and Kilion died leaving Naomi, Ruth, and her sister in law in Moab without a man to provide for them. Ruth tells her daughters in law that she can’t have any more sons for them to marry, so they should go back to their own houses and find new husbands. The sister in law agrees and Ruth makes a vow before God that she would never leave Naomi and swore her life to her and in that moment made Naomi’s God Yahweh, her God and her people, the Israelites her people forever and returns to Bethlehem.

Naomi bewails her situation and moans that God has forsaken her by taking all the men that she loved out of her life and essentially that she is cursed. Ruth never bemoans her situation but is ready to work to provide for her mother in law and is ready to work when she enters Bethlehem. She goes out to the field to glean wheat, essentially the process of gathering the excess crops that was left over by the landowner which was actually a way of helping out the poor by giving them a chance to gather their own food.

It just so happens that Ruth is working Boaz’s field. Boaz takes notice of her and makes sure his men treat her well. Ruth reports to Naomi how she is receiving special treatment from Boaz and Naomi knows that he is interested and that he is a relative. Now there is no levitical law that stated that a near relative had the duty to marry another dead relative’s widow. However, property rights were an issue and Naomi, as a woman, could not own property, but a man could own the property for her and make sure she was provided for. This is common knowledge, but who would do it wasn’t.

Naomi then schemes with Ruth. She tells Ruth to put on her best clothes, perfume, and make up and then go down to the threshing floor (the place where the wheat was separated from the chaff) and after Boaz had his fill of wine to “Uncover his feet” and lie down and wait for Boaz to tell her what to do. Now, this is where the Bible goes euphemistic. We know that when Saul went into the cave to relieve himself in 1 Samuel 24:3 literally means to cover his feet.  We know this because Saul goes into a cave and well—goes number one as is clearly stated in the following verses, putting Saul in the most precarious and vulnerable position.

So when Naomi tells Ruth to get all dressed up, wait for Boaz to get fat and happy on food and wine, then uncover his feet, what could she possibly mean? This verse is translated several ways.

New American Standard: Ruth 3:4  “It shall be when he lies down, that you shall notice the place where he lies, and you shall go and uncover his feet and lie down; then he will tell you what you shall do.”

New English Translation: Ruth 3:4  When he gets ready to go to sleep, take careful notice of the place where he lies down. Then go, uncover his legs, and lie down beside him. He will tell you what you should do.”

New International Version: Ruth 3:4  When he lies down, note the place where he is lying. Then go and uncover his feet and lie down. He will tell you what to do.”

English Standard Version: Ruth 3:4   But when he lies down, observe the place where he lies. Then go and uncover his feet and lie down, and he will tell you what to do.”

King James Version Ruth 3:4  ⁴ And it shall be, when he lieth down, that thou shalt mark the place where he shall lie, and thou shalt go in, and uncover his feet, and lay thee down; and he will tell thee what thou shalt do.

The Message Bible says Ruth 3:4 Lie at his feet to let him know that you are available to him for marriage. Then wait and see what he says. He’ll tell you what to do.

 

Only the New English Translation and the Message are bold enough to make a stab at what uncover his feet is a euphemism for. NET means his legs which would get kind of risqué, and the Message is flat out saying that uncovering his feet means I want to get married.

 

To discover what Naomi meant when she told Ruth to do this, we have to see what Ruth actually did.

 

NASV: Ruth 3:7-9  When Boaz had eaten and drunk and his heart was merry, he went to lie down at the end of the heap of grain; and she came secretly, and uncovered his feet and lay down.  ⁸ It happened in the middle of the night that the man was startled and bent forward; and behold, a woman was lying at his feet.  ⁹ He said, “Who are you?” And she answered, “I am Ruth your maid. So spread your covering over your maid, for you are a close relative.”

NET: Ruth 3:7-9  ⁷ When Boaz had finished his meal and was feeling satisfied, he lay down to sleep at the far end of the grain heap. Then Ruth crept up quietly, uncovered his legs, and lay down beside him.  ⁸ In the middle of the night he was startled and turned over. Now he saw a woman lying beside him!  ⁹ He said, “Who are you?” She replied, “I am Ruth, your servant. Marry your servant, for you are a guardian of the family interests.”

KJV: Ruth 3:7-9  And when Boaz had eaten and drunk, and his heart was merry, he went to lie down at the end of the heap of corn: and she came softly, and uncovered his feet, and laid her down.  ⁸ And it came to pass at midnight, that the man was afraid, and turned himself: and, behold, a woman lay at his feet.  ⁹ And he said, Who art thou? And she answered, I am Ruth thine handmaid: spread therefore thy skirt over thine handmaid; for thou art a near kinsman.

The Message:Ruth 3:7-9 Boaz had a good time, eating and drinking his fill—he felt great. Then he went off to get some sleep, lying down at the end of a stack of barley. Ruth quietly followed; she lay down to signal her availability for marriage. In the middle of the night the man was suddenly startled and sat up. Surprise! This woman asleep at his feet!

He said, “And who are you?”

She said, “I am Ruth, your maiden; take me under your protecting wing. You’re my close relative, you kno, in the circle of covenant redeemers—you do have the right to marry me.”

 

Ruth for the most part would have been looked down upon for this right? I mean this is scandalous. She approached a very respected God fearing man in the middle of the night and made an advance to marry him. So what did Boaz think of her move?

 

NASV:Ruth 3:10-14  Then he said, “May you be blessed of the LORD, my daughter. You have shown your last kindness to be better than the first by not going after young men, whether poor or rich.  ¹¹ “Now, my daughter, do not fear. I will do for you whatever you ask, for all my people in the city know that you are a woman of excellence.  ¹² “Now it is true I am a close relative; however, there is a relative closer than I.  ¹³ “Remain this night, and when morning comes, if he will redeem you, good; let him redeem you. But if he does not wish to redeem you, then I will redeem you, as the LORD lives. Lie down until morning.”  ¹⁴ So she lay at his feet until morning and rose before one could recognize another; and he said, “Let it not be known that the woman came to the threshing floor.”

NET: Ruth 3:10-14  He said, “May you be rewarded by the LORD, my dear! This act of devotion is greater than what you did before. For you have not sought to marry one of the young men, whether rich or poor.  ¹¹ Now, my dear, don’t worry! I intend to do for you everything you propose, for everyone in the village knows that you are a worthy woman.  ¹² Now yes, it is true that I am a guardian, but there is another guardian who is a closer relative than I am.  ¹³ Remain here tonight. Then in the morning, if he agrees to marry you, fine, let him do so. But if he does not want to do so, I promise, as surely as the LORD lives, to marry you. Sleep here until morning.”  ¹⁴ So she slept beside him until morning. She woke up while it was still dark. Boaz thought, “No one must know that a woman visited the threshing floor.”

The Message: Ruth 3:10-14 He said, “God Bless you, my dear daughter! What a splendid expression of love! And when you could have had your pick of any of the young men around. And now, my dear daughter, don’t you worry about a thing; I’ll do all you could want or ask. Everybody in town knows what a courageous woman you are—a real prize! You’re right I am a close relative to you, but there is one even closer than I am. So stay the rest of the night. In the morning, if he wants to exercise his customary rights and responsibilities as the closest covenant redeemer, he’ll have his chance; but if he isn’t interested, as God lives, I’ll do it. Now go back to sleep until morning.”

Ruth slept at his feet until dawn, but hse got up while it was still dark and wouldn’t be recognized. Then Boaz said to himself, “ No one must know that Ruth came to the threshing floor.”

 

Ok so a couple things here. Clearly Boaz was righteous because it doesn’t appear that he took advantage of Ruth and “married her” on the spot. He submitted to the cultural norm of giving the man closest relationship to Ruth the opportunity to marry her. Because remember what is at stake here is Naomi’s property which whoever marries Ruth inherits. There is no Biblical precedence for this practice, for nowhere in the Torah doesn’t it say anything about anyone other than brothers marrying a dead brother’s widow to carry on the name of the diseased brother although this is exactly what Boaz does.

 

Ruth is called righteous, courageous, worthy, excellent. These are all synonyms for the Hebrew word “Ha-eel.” She is called that for going after Boaz when she could have gone after one of the younger men implying that she could have chosen to ask one of the younger men to marry her. Now, this brings us to an interesting place, even in a culture that didn’t allow women to even be in a men’s public place like the threshing floor, Ruth was considered an incredibly good woman for looking after her mother in law and choosing a respectable established man like Boaz for her husband.

 

So what does this say for us today? I am not saying that men should go to bed every night expecting to wake up to the woman God has for him. But what I am saying is that we may have boxed ourselves in too tightly with this Medieval Knight concept that John Eldridge has given us, that the men are supposed to pursue their princess. They are to win the princess and take her on his great adventure. But the tough thing with that paradigm is within complimentarianism, she moves from princess to helpmate in an instant and once the honeymoon is over is usually set up for disappointment. In a model where she goes after a husband, she is asking that man to be her covering, to be responsible for her and that she is willing to be obedient to his leadership and there is no misconceptions of expectations. The woman is clearly joining that man’s world to be his helpmate and is not being swept off her feet to have all her romantic dreams come true.